When you are studying as an international student, there may be times when you are in the middle of a conversation and suddenly, after making what you thought was an innocuous comment, the conversation pauses and all eyes turn toward you. You can feel the shade of red creeping up as your blood begins to boil and your blood pressure rises. Your mind is frantically fluttering around trying to understand what went wrong.
It is moments like these that often arise out of using incorrect slang with your friends or colleagues. One of the primary difficulties of speaking a second or third language with friends or students is that you often learn formal turns of phrase, proper diction, and once you arrive in school, that proper education you received is only applicable with speaking to adults or writing research papers (which is not really bad). But when you are invited to, say, a party with friends, they might mock your proper speech and it won’t be pleasant.
But getting slang communication right can be tricky. There are some phrases that you might think are applicable based on their definition and your understanding of their usage, but are really things you should avoid saying. What’s more, you might be saying something that you think is correct, but because of a cultural difference, the person listening to you hears or interprets your intent differently. This might end with a confrontation or other conflict.
- If you tell someone “you’re wrong”, you might think there is nothing offensive about this phrase, because it is, after all, correct. For all intents and purposes it is realistic and for some cultures it might not be offensive to merely speak the truth like this, and you might think you are being kind in your tone. But your counterpart might be offended, not taking criticism well and believing that you are brash or forward.
You can try to say something like “I thought X was different, because of A. Can you show me what you did?” This is especially important when working on group projects in school. You don’t want to be stuck with a team member who thinks you are rude and who is permanently offended by your presence just because you called them out on something they did incorrectly. If you instead ask them to show you what steps they took, you give them the opportunity to see the error of their ways and correct it themselves, saving them embarrassment. - “You’re an idiot” is a phrase that brings the same issue as stated above. And it is not surprising because nobody likes being called stupid. Try to insert the same revised statement mentioned above and it will make a much better result.
- “You don’t know what you are doing” is yet another example. All phrases like this, which may be completely honest and truthful, are often taken poorly by the recipient and seen as unnecessarily mean, which can cause a rift in social relationships and don’t mean what you want them to.
- Today, “girlfriend” and “boyfriend” are still causes for trouble. While in the 1980’s Americans would refer to their female or male friends as girlfriends or boyfriends, this is no longer the case. And referring to a new female friend as your girlfriend will make things really awkward.
- Aside from such specific phrasing, you also want to make sure that any idioms you are using are done correctly. Spelling is important here. Things such as “I could care less” is a common mistake made among native speakers too, but it implies that you could care less than you do, which begs the question, “then why don’t you?” But if you state “I couldn’t care less” you successfully imply that the topic literally means nothing to you.
- Another mistake common in communication is the typical linguistic dilemma of “to have/to be”. In many other languages there is one word indicative of both, but in English this is not the case. As such, many international students make the mistake of translating things literally only to end up saying “I have hunger” when the English equivalent is “I am hungry”.
- The same is true of things like “allow me/regard me”. If you tell someone to “regard you” when you are trying to show an example of something, they might be very confused.
All in all, sometimes things that sound ordinary in your head gain another meaning when they are said. Try to be careful with harsh words and phrases because you might spoil the relationships with some important people without even intending and this is just the best scenario. Remember our tips and avoid the troubles in communication.
